


Scars

by thenofutureshoe



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluffy, Slow Burn, Spoiler Princess bride, Sweet, because annie works a part time job in crimescene clean up, death mentions, far too many Princess Bride references, like not super slow but a bit slow burn, nothing overboard but a warning anyway, scar mentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:35:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24959245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenofutureshoe/pseuds/thenofutureshoe
Summary: With Troy gone from Apartment 303 Annie and Abed learn more about each other, including their scars.
Relationships: Annie Edison/Abed Nadir
Comments: 27
Kudos: 104





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Because running through a plate glass window comes with consequences. And I know that Allison Brie is bangin' and has no scars, but humour me.  
> Slight depiction of a panic attack near the beginning but no indepth describing.  
> Some graphic depiction of scars.  
> This is my first fic for a long time, be gentle with me.

That year, summer couldn’t have come fast enough. After everything that had gone wrong for them that year, from Troy and Abed’s falling out to Chang turning into a evil dictator and getting them kicked out, Annie was relieved to find some normalcy in summer. 

It was easy to just attend her summer job at the crime scene cleaning company. Yes, it was unpredictable hours, and she wasn’t really doing anything except holding mops and carrying buckets, but she got to see crime scenes up close. It would look great on her resume now that she had switched to Criminology. 

The dark spot in her life was the distinctly Troy-shaped hole in the apartment. Abed was coping as well as could be expected. He spent most of his time in the Dreamatorium, running simulations on how to get him back. Not that Annie knew, but it was what she would have done. It was what she was doing. 

Having Troy gone was painful. It reminded her so much of the past that it hurt her heart to think of. Her rehab group had promised to stay together and now they didn’t even reply to their group emails. The seven of them had weathered the tragedy of being expelled but this felt like the beginning of the end. Troy was gone. For real this time. Abed was slowly slipping away into his own inner-world. Jeff was noncommittal as always. Shirley was wrapped up in Andre and the baby. Britta… never responded to anything normally. So Annie was left alone, hoping that they would pull through, but ultimately expecting the worst. 

Her mood wasn’t helped at all by the oppressive heat that rolled in mid-June and refused to let up. The radio called it the biggest heatwave in a century. Annie was trapped in their tiny apartment with a broken AC unit. An AC unit Troy could have fixed in seconds and they both knew it. So the AC unit stayed broken, because Troy was gone and mentioning his name was too much for Abed.

On the fourth day of the heatwave Annie stood before her mirror, eyes narrowed with loathing. She had finally dug out her spaghetti strap singlet, it was too hot to keep wearing sleeves. Now the scar she usually ignored as much as possible was on full display. She needed to decide if being uncomfortably sweaty was worth keeping it hidden. She knew Abed was out, he had run off that morning with some scheme to try and see Troy. It was just for while she was cleaning the apartment, then before he returned she could change back into a normal shirt. 

Peeking out the door to make sure Abed was really gone, Annie steeled herself and stepped into the apartment. She couldn’t even stand the sight of the ugly, pink, wrinkled scar, vivid against the perfect skin of her arm and chest. It marred her entire right shoulder, deforming it into something grotesque. It was bad enough that she had to see it, let alone the mere thought of someone else. Thankfully for her, the other scars were easier to hide. The one on her scalp was obscured by her thick hair. The one across her back, between the shoulder blades, was one she rarely thought of. And the ugly purpled streak over her thigh, well, Annie was never without tights if she could help it. Her shoulder was by far the worst, the one that made her stomach turn to look at. She wore cap-sleeves and cardigans to hide it. No one would ever need to know about them. 

Usually cleaning calmed her, gave her that minutiae of control she longed for. Today, the heat and prickle of chafe over her bare skin undermined everything. Her hair was frizzing from sweat, even as she twirled it into a bun and pinned it down. Annie caught sight of herself in the TV and flinched. 

All she needed to complete the unsightly appearance were her coke-bottle glasses and some braces. Who was she kidding, she was such a fake. Troy was gone, Abed was gone, Annie wasn’t meant to have friends. 

Her heart began to hammer, fingers tingling and vision closing into the reflection in the TV. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t catch her breath while those voices were yelling so loud in her head. 

_What a psycho. Little Annie Adderall. That girl is crazy. Little Annie Adderall. Little Annie Adderall._

Annie groaned, clutching her head and shaking it as if to dislodge the painful memories. It didn’t work. It never did. Instead, she dropped the vacuum and retreated completely. She didn’t even realise she had gone into the Dreamatorium until she was sitting on the green floor, staring at orange insulation tape grid. Finally, her mind quietened enough to start sifting through her thoughts. 

_Everything is OK. I’m OK. I am in control and not out of control. Everything is OK in this moment. I am the exact person I am meant to be. And in this moment I am OK._

She didn’t know how much time had passed before Abed burst into the Dreamatorium. His face was twisted with panic even as he found her sitting in the middle of the room. The expression faded, but fear lingered in his wide eyes. He bent to examine her, prodding her face and pulling at her cheeks. 

“Abed!” She protested, throwing her hands up to wave him away. “Stop it. What are you doing?”

“I was checking you were you,” he said. 

Of course he was. Annie rolled her eyes with a smile. 

“I’m me, Abed.”

“I came home and found the cleaning stuff out but you weren’t in the apartment.” He folded himself into a tailor seat across from her. “I had to be sure you hadn’t been face-swapped or body-snatched or just, you know, gone.”

“Sorry.” Annie sighed. She tried to smile. It was the moment, the time to talk about why Annie being gone scared him like that. It was time to talk about Troy leaving them. Instead, she dragged at her skirt, keeping the scar on her leg covered and clapping the other hand over her shoulder scar. “I should get back to cleaning.” She gave him a tight smile. 

“What were you doing in the Dreamatorium?” Abed asked. 

With a jerking shrug she scrambled to her knees. 

“I don’t know,” she said. It was the truth, she had no idea why she had come into the Dreamatorium during her panic attack. Maybe because it was the designated place to think. Or perhaps because in that moment she needed to be Not-Annie for a while. 

He blinked, eyes intent on her, analysing closely. 

“OK,” he said. “Want some buttered noodles?”

“Sure.” Annie pressed her back into the wall, muscles tense. “I’m just gonna change first. I wasn’t expecting you home so early.”

Abed stood, walking to the door without taking his eyes off her. There was a small line of consternation between his brows. 

“Is it because you’re uncomfortable with your scars?” He asked. 

She hated how normal his voice was, even as they punched her in the gut. 

She clutched at the scar tighter, trying to press the shoulder from its scarred misery back into normal skin. 

“Was that rude?” His voice was softer this time, a genuine attempt at empathy. 

Annie looked away, eyes focusing on the orange lines of the walls. 

“It wasn’t rude. It was right,” she said, jaw clenching down on the words. 

“You’re uncomfortable with your scars?” Abed clarified. “Why?” His head was tilting, brow still lined as he tried to work it out.

“Come on, Abed, you watch more TV than anyone. How many leading ladies out there look like this?” She waved her right hand at her shoulder without revealing the scar. “None, because it’s gross.”

The skin beneath her hand was wet with sweat but she refused to let it go. 

Abed stood still, eyes watching her far closer than she would like. After a long moment his head straightened and he opened the door of the Dreamatorium. 

“I’ll make lunch,” he said and strode out. 

“Yeah.” Annie’s smile was painful on her face. “That’s what I thought,” she whispered. 

Waiting until he was intent on the food, Annie darted to her bedroom and snapped the door shut.

=====

The empathy filter she had placed upon him was working overtime. He reviewed the memory closely as he cooked. 

The idea of catching Troy as he sabotaged the AC unit at Greendale required more planning that just hitting it really hard with a spanner. He had come home, ready to bring Annie in on his plan, when he found the place abandoned. Well, not abandoned as Annie’s cleaning supplies were out but unused. 

His entire being had been gripped with terror at the idea. First Troy and now Annie. Abed couldn’t lose more people. Especially ones like Annie and Troy. The rest of the group just didn’t get him like they did, and now they were gone. 

But Annie wasn’t gone. She was simply sitting in the Dreamatorium with a blank stare. Abed knew he startled her but the empathy filter was overridden by his own need to be safe and OK first. 

This didn’t look like Annie at all. Her face was the same but her hair was frizzed and curling out of a bun, she was wearing less clothes than normal and there seemed to be a scar stretching across the front of her right shoulder. Was this evil Annie? Was she body-snatched? He had to be sure. Nothing made sense anymore. 

She was Annie. Just… Annie when she was sad, if he had to guess. She looked miserable on the floor of the Dreamatorium, hands struggling to hide the scars from him. Abed waited for her to talk about it, but she didn’t. 

He did his best. Asking why she was in the Dreamatorium, but Annie didn’t have an answer for him. So he tried again, asking about the scars. He knew then it wasn’t a good idea. She stopped making eye contact and pressed herself into the wall to hide from him. A new empathy filter could only do so much. He left her to it. 

The words about leading ladies snagged in his head though. She was right about no one on TV looking like that. Tina Fey might have a small scar but it was barely noticeable. Any other women with scars were always villains. He had to admit, even he had thought it was her equivalent of an evil goatee. There was something so uncomfortable in that thought. 

That thought led to the image of Annie looking up at him with her doe eyes full of misery. He hated seeing her like that. She was Annie. There was nothing wrong with her or her scars. They were a part of her. And Abed liked her. She was one of his best friends.

He was sad to see that she was wearing a normal shirt when she emerged from the bedroom. Her eyes had the tell-tale signs of crying around them as well. Abed handed her the bowl of noodles and led the way to the TV. 

“Annie?” He tried to start. 

“Let’s just watch Dollhouse. I don’t wanna talk about it.” She gave him a weak smile. 

=====

The days stayed hot, Annie refused to wear her singlet again or even speak to him about it. They existed in a tense bubble of misery, working their way through Dollhouse and onto Firefly. Something had shifted. Abed was still angry and sad about Troy being gone, but now he was assaulted from both sides. 

Somewhere within their sweaty, miserable existence, Abed began to notice new things about Annie. The fact that her hair curled against her neck when it was damp from sweat. The little tick she had as she scrubbed dishes of pushing her lips out and sliding her tongue over her top teeth. Probably from when she had worn braces. He also noticed she liked to separate all of her foods on her plate, keeping them from touching for as long as she could. The one tick he was amazed he hadn’t noticed immediately was that she worried at a hair elastic on her wrist whenever she wore one. It must have been new, brought on with whatever had sent her into the Dreamatorium that day. 

It didn’t take long for it begin to affect Abed as well. The constant flick of elastic against skin was like being slapped in the face. He could feel the impact right through his skull. It rippled through his neck and shoulders, hitching them and setting his teeth on edge. He began to crave an excuse to slide his fingers into hers just to cease the snapping noise. 

Desperate to shift their dynamic one way or the other, Abed took a chance. As they sat down to eat one night he turned to Annie instead of the TV. 

“Annie?”

“Hmm?” She didn’t look away, eyes intent even though she had seen the opening credits of Firefly for the entire season. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t been around much,” Abed said. 

That made her turn to face him properly. Her eyes were wide and finally the flicking ceased.

“Oh. That’s OK.” Annie tried to smile but this one he could see through. He was getting better at reading her expressions. 

“No. I was so busy missing Troy and trying to find a way to see him again, I didn’t realise you probably miss him too.” 

“Abed.” The smile reached her eyes this time, her face softening into real emotion. “I do miss Troy. This year was the worst.”

“Yeah. It was pretty dark.” Abed spoke rapidly, trying to get it out without Annie having to be cut off. 

“I miss Troy a lot. And I missed you too. But we’re gonna be OK.” Annie patted his arm lightly. “Everything will work out.”

“I hope so.” He gave her a nod. “We’re gonna stay together, no matter what.”

The smile dropped. Annie’s brow crinkled as she nodded. Abed flattened his lips, that wasn’t the expression he had been looking for. Annie was already looking back at the TV, eyes following the characters as Mal was ever the asshole to Inara. Her fingers had wrapped the elastic up. Before she could let it snap against her wrist, Abed slid his fingers into her palm. 

The anxious movements paused a mere moment before Annie was tugging at his fingernail and letting Abed’s finger snap softly into her palm instead. He gave a small sigh of relief. He could not stand that snapping noise. 

=====

The heatwave finally broke with a heavy storm. Cool winds chased the last of the heat out of the apartment and dampness followed it. Annie tried to be glad, the stifling heat was gone and she was comfortable in her clothes again. Now her hair was frizzing everyday and she just couldn’t keep enough product in it to make it lie flat without looking as though she had been out in the rain. 

Abed didn’t seem to notice. Since their night of talking about missing Troy, he seemed to be making a slight effort to at least talk to her. He would also sit and hold her hand as they watched TV. 

Annie stared at the rain out her bedroom window and pondered it. He had taken her hand after promising they would always stay together. Yet he had said it in a completely unromantic way. In a very Abed-way. Was the gesture one of platonic friendship? Or was it to signal his words had been of a romantic expression?

Everything was a little too confusing. She didn’t think Abed looked at her that way. Sure, they had kissed in paintball but his reaction afterwards was more than enough evidence that it was just a stupid homage. She got more allowances in his life than most people, but surely that came with top-tier friendship levels. Annie groaned a little and slumped her head into her hand. Who knew? Abed was the only one who ever really knew what he was thinking and feeling, everyone else had to guess or go along.

On top of all of that, why did Annie even care? She wasn’t in love with Abed. She was just his roommate. She didn’t care why he held her hand. She just cared that when he did all of the crowding fears of abandonment and inadequacy faded away. That was something friends did for each other, right?

She’d certainly never had that with anyone else. Her first boyfriend was a haze of Adderall-induced decisions and regret. Vaughn was sweet enough but more often than not his “no worries” attitude left a faint taste of irritation in her mouth. Jeff was nothing but an excuse to mess up her life covered in a thick layer of charisma. 

It didn’t matter. This was Abed. Her best friend and her roommate. It was a non-issue. Less than a non-issue. She rubbed at the scar on her shoulder, beneath the soft cotton of her blouse.

=====

The storm passed over the city within a day. Vicious heat and humidity took its place, as though punishing them for the slight reprieve they had gotten. Annie lay on the floor of the dining area, trying to get as much skin contact with the cool lino as she could. 

“It’s too hot!” She groaned. Her hair was piled up on her head to stop the frizz escaping. “I want the rain back.”

“I agree,” Abed said from the doorway of the blanket fort. It was so hot that he was without his hoodie for once. “This is so bad, it’s almost Florkon 5. That’s the desert planet from Inpector Spacetime.” 

Annie held back her groan. She had been watching Inspector Spacetime with Abed as much as she could stomach. Honestly, the episodes before the reboot were almost painful to watch but the newer stuff was good-ish. It was just the heat and humidity making her crotchety. 

“The Inspector and Geneva visit Florkon 5 to try and discover the source of a mysterious distress signal coming from within the planet.” Abed’s voice shifted, animation filtering in. His head was at a slight angle, one finger extended as he placed the other behind his back. “Why is a deserted planet emitting a distress signal? It’s been abandoned for thousands of years. Where is the signal coming from and why now?”

It was definitely because the Dreamatorium was the coolest room in the house that Annie sat up. She brought out her best Geneva. 

“Well, guv’na, them’s is a strange collection of events!” She climbed to her feet, ignoring the slickness of sweat on the floor where she had lay. “May’aps there is people ‘ere, livin’ deep down under the surface?” 

“Ah, there is only one way to find out, Constable. Come along!” Abed led the way into the Dreamatorium, snatching his bowler hat from the hook by the door. 

Annie followed, smile creeping over her face slowly. 

=====

It took much less convincing than Abed expected it would to get Annie to play Inspector Spacetime. He could barely contain himself, despite the preachy message of that particular episode, Annie didn’t know the twist. He’ll be able to watch it first hand. A thrill of excitement tingled all over as he set the scene and took his place beside her. 

_The desert planet is hot. Wind filled with sand stings over Geneva and the Inspector’s skin as they climb out of the ship._

_“The scanner says the signal is coming from somewhere around here, thousands of feet below the earth,” Inspector Spacetime says. “We need to look around for an entrance, an… anything.”_

_“Aye, aye, guv’na!” Geneva shields her eyes and stares around the barren landscape._

_“There! Look, Geneva, there’s something over there._

_The something is a small black corner protruding from the yellow sand. Geneva leans forward, touching the corner._

_There is a deep rumble, the sand quivers and falls._

_The Inspector and Geneva back away, blasters out just in case._

_From within the sand a large black monolith lifts._

_When it is revealed the rumbling stops and the vibrations beneath their feet die once more._

_“What is it, guv’na?” Geneva asks, voice breathy._

_“It’s a door, Constable.” The Inspector steps forward, examining the door from every angle. “Now we just need to get it open.”_

_The sun beats down against Geneva as she watches the Inspector use his quantum spanner several times to no avail. He is muttering and circling the ‘door’, his words foreign to her. When she can’t take the heat any longer, Geneva reaches forward and touches the door. The black stone splits and swings inward easily, a cinematic “creaaaak” as it does._

“Seriously?” Annie’s brow furrowed and she huffed.

Abed ignored her.

_“You did it, Constable!” The Inspector pokes his head in the door. “How did you do it?”_

_“I jus touched it, guv’na.” Geneva follows him into the dark._

_It’s cool, dim and smells just a little stale. The walls are plain black stone with a single inlay of a diamond in the back wall._

_“What is it, guv’na?” Geneva asks._

_“I’m to think, Constable, it’s—”_

_His words are cut off as Geneva touches the diamond and the door swings closed once more._

_They are descending, a rush of inertia hitting Geneva and the Inspector so they sway dramatically. She grabs his arm to stay upright, fingers gripping tight._

_“What’s happening?” Geneva yells, a rushing of air over their room._

_“We’re going down! We’re heading to that signal!” The Inspector pulls out his blaster, ready for anything._

_The rushing of air slows and their descent seems to stop. With a resounding rumble, the room is still. Another ‘creaaak’ signals the door opening, soft light illuminating a long hallway._

_It’s the same black stone as the door was. The Inspector leads the way, Geneva on his heels and carrying her own blaster. Their footsteps echo all around until the hall opens into an expansive cavern. A set of steel stairs lead up to a control panel in the middle of the room. Fine white dust covers most of the floor, piles of it in corners and against walls._

_The Inspector and Geneva ascend the stairs, eyes fixed to the blinking red light on the panel._

_Geneva stops by a pile of dust, bending slightly to look closer. There’s a human tooth laying among the dust. They were once humans._

_With a gasping scream she jumps back._

_“Inspector!” She cries, hand over her chest._

_“Yes, Constable.” He turns slowly, face grave. “I know.”_

_“They’re humans!” She casts around. “They were all humans.”_

_“Yes, Geneva.” His voice is soft._

_She stares at him in wide-eyed horror. “What do you mean? What’s goin’ on?”_

_“This, Constable, is not Florkon 5.” He takes a step toward her._

_“Yes it is! You said it is. Deserted for thousands of years, nothing but desert.” She grips the railing of the platform._

_“It is. And yet it is not.” The Inspector gestures to the panel behind him. “Why do you think only you could open that door, Constable? Why do you think you activated the elevator?”_

_“No!” She turns away, both hands clutching at her chest now. “No, Inspector!”_

_“Yes. I’m afraid so. It is not a case of where we are, Constable, but when.” The final word is whispered with pity._

_“Earth?” She sobs. “My Earth? Gone?”_

_With that Geneva throws down her blaster and flings herself against the Inspector’s chest. Heaving sobs resound through the room._

“Now, now, Constable. Everything is OK. This is just the distant future, your home is safe and sound in the past.” 

Annie was still in his grasp, her body tense against his. Abed’s comforting hand was placed on her back, fingers running over a ridge of skin that streaked across it. 

“End simulation,” Abed said. He was frozen in place. Annie’s hands were holding his shirt tight and her face pressed into his chest earnestly.

“Annie?” Abed’s fingers itched to trace the scar beneath her shirt again but he resisted. 

“You can stop touching it.” Her voice was miserable. “I know they’re gross and weird.”

“I don’t think they’re gross.” Abed pulled back to look down at her. This close he could see her curls fighting against her hair-tie. 

“Come on, Abed,” Annie said. She looked up at him, her blue eyes full of tears. 

“Really.” He attempted a solemn face. “They’re part of your origin story. Like Deadpool. Or Inigo Montoya…” He tried his best to suppress the urge before he whispered the rest. “You killed my father, prepare to die.”

Annie gave a small laugh and sniffle. “I didn’t get mine from a strange experiment or some guy that killed my father.” Annie sighed and pressed her face back into Abed’s chest. 

He wrapped his arms tighter around her, hand coming to her shoulder naturally and holding on. He could feel the edge of the other scar but didn’t acknowledge it.

“That’s probably a good thing,” Abed said. “Inigo becomes an alcoholic when he’s consumed by grief that he failed to kill the six-fingered man.” He frowned. They’d gotten off track.

“I went crazy on pills. If anything, mine is worse,” Annie said and laid her cheek against his chest. Her arms held tight around his waist. 

“I suppose. Maybe it’s more of a cinematic parallel, like Clueless being Emma or Ten Things I Hate About you being Taming of the Shrew. You’re the Annie to Inigo the way that Cher is to Emma—”

“Abed, stop, too meta.” There was a small laugh in her voice.

“Sorry. I just mean that Inigo does get to kill the six-fingered man in the end. He also gets to ride off into the sunset with Wesley, Buttercup and Fezzik. He gets vengeance, friendship and a cool white horse.”

“And stabbed.” 

Abed gave a small noise of dissent and Annie laughed. 

“But really, thanks, Abed,” she said. 

“You’re welcome.” He gave her another squeeze and stepped back. 

The urge to cup her cheek was strong. He shook his head, trying to scare the sensation off. It was hard as she looked up at him with a genuine smile. 

“You shouldn’t ever feel like your scars make you ugly. You’re the most beautiful woman in most rooms.”

Her smile grew before Annie leaned forward and brushed her lips over his cheek. 

There was a moment where time seemed to slow. Abed was looking down into Annie’s eyes, seeing much more than he ever had before. He could feel all the places their bodies were touching, sweat dampening them both. He could see her incredibly long lashes brushing her cheek. It was a Han and Leia moment. It was a Don Draper moment. It was any cover of the Nicholas Sparks novels Annie had on her bookshelves. Except the one with the cowboy hat. He was distracted. Should he kiss her? He wasn't being Han or Don or any of those white guys on bookcovers. He’s just Abed. And she’s Annie. 

Annie stepped back, giving her awkward smile and folding her arms behind her back. 

Abed wanted to curse. He hesitated so much he lost the moment. 

“Well, I am gonna go shower because it’s cooling down and I’m really sweaty,” Annie said. She gave a small giggle and backed to the door. 

“Cool,” Abed said. “Cool, cool, cool.”

=====

The water ran cold within minutes as it always did. Annie didn’t care. She stood beneath the cold water, face turned into it and brain on overdrive. Were they about to kiss just now? Was Abed going to kiss her? 

Her hand clutched her head, the fingers brushing the hidden scar there. After a long moment she reached behind her and brushed her fingers over the scar on her back. 

She had never let anyone touch them before. It felt oddly calming when Abed did it. Like when someone played with your hair or gave you a hand massage. Something so out of ordinary but such a symbol of affection. 

_You shouldn’t ever feel like your scars make you ugly._

Annie wanted to scoff at how easily he said it. Like it was just that simple. Yet, it wormed into her brain. She didn’t know how Abed did that to her. She smiled.

=====

It was just as hot when Annie climbed out of the shower. The humidity was ramping up and a bank of heavy cloud rolled in. Without giving herself too much time to think about it, Annie pulled on her singlet and walked into the kitchen.

Abed was sitting at the TV, the opening credits of something paused. 

“Are you hungry?” Annie asked, lingering in the doorway.

“Not yet. Come and watch Princess Bride.” Abed was back to his normal self. 

She slipped into Troy’s chair, fingers worrying at the elastic around her wrist. Abed’s hand slid into hers. Her betrayer heart stuttered but she fiddled with his fingers instead. 

The stuttering of her heart gave way to a resounding thump. After taking stock of heart attack symptoms, Annie spared a glance at Abed. He showed no indication of noticing she was wearing the singlet again, this time without covering the ugly scar. Or that she was watching him more than the movie so far. 

“Abed?” Annie’s stomach turned but the idea of Inigo Montoya rose instead of vomit. 

“Mm?” 

“The other night when you said we’d stay together…” Annie petered out. She didn’t know where she was going with this. 

He looked at her, blinking once or twice. 

“You held my hand…” Annie can feel the blush on her cheek. She’s pretty sure it’s covering her entire body by now but it’s hard to tell with the humidity and heat. 

“You were snapping your hair-tie. It annoys me. But I also recognise it as a nervous tick. I’d much rather you fidget with my hand than snap that band on your wrist,” Abed said. It came out as a typical rush but Annie felt warm and tingling all over as he spoke. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t even notice I did it,” Annie said and gave his fingers a squeeze. 

“That’s OK.” He smiled at her, lips quirking at the corners. “I only noticed recently. We can do it this way, then we’re both happy.”

Annie blinked. Her heart was threatening to stop all together when he squeezed her fingers back. 

They turned back to the TV, listening to Grandpa narrate. After a moment, Annie stood, stepped to the side and settled on Abed’s chair arm. His smile quirked once more and their fingers squeezed tight. 

=====


	2. Chapter 2

“Alright, kid, get out there and show me what you can do.” Abed gave his voice a twang but Annie still had no idea which character he had taken it from.

She wanted to protest. She very much wanted to tell him there were better ways to do this. Instead, Annie pushed her chest out and began a strut, hoping it was sultry enough. She was dressed in her flowered dress from Jeff’s lawyer party. It had been a hit then, she hoped she could replicate it. Abed was left hiding beneath the stairs, watching between the horizontals.

Annie took a deep breath in and paused at the corner. In the hallway beyond, a guard was leaning against the wall by the door to the utilities closet. Abed informed her the guard must have been placed after his futile attempt to sabotage the AC unit last week. Now it was Annie’s job to seduce him away so Abed could have another go. 

Annie wasn’t overly convinced in her ability to seduce people, but Abed insisted she would do great. She clenched her fists, lifting her foot to step out. The crackle of a radio sounded. Annie froze, pressing back into the brickwork. 

“All available security to the car park. Student in process of eating pancakes to obstruct traffic.” 

The voice was grainy, the echo making it warp so much that for a moment Annie wasn’t convinced her brain processed the words properly. 

Her thoughts were negated by the distinct clomp of shoes coming her way. 

Keeping high on her toes to silence her own footsteps, Annie skittered back to Abed’s hiding place. He stared at her. Without thinking, she clapped a hand over his mouth. 

The footsteps rounded the corner and climbed over them with resounding clunks. Annie let go of Abed’s face slowly.

“Sorry,” she whispered.

“That’s OK, classic sneaking into somewhere trope where one character silences another,” he said, his face quirking to smile. “We should hurry.”

“Sure.” Annie gave him a nod. “I think the radio said someone was eating pancakes in the car park obstructing traffic.” 

He didn’t reply with anything other than a “yikes” look. 

The utilities room was spacious, the whole thing gave Annie an uneasy feeling. This was where they had kept the Dean for weeks. 

Abed was already moving fast, crouched low and skulking along the wall. She couldn’t help but grin a little at his lanky limbs all curled up as he walked. Within a moment he was reaching up to bat at the camera in the corner with his spanner. With three solid, loud hits the camera dangled useless from its cord. 

“It’s pretty much against my religion to do that, but desperate times,” he said, voice even. 

Annie met him at the whirring unit, eyes flickering to the door every other second. As Abed freed the cover, a soft buzzing began. Annie glanced down at the phone in her hand and cursed. 

“Abed, it’s work,” she said. “I have to go.”

He paused, setting the cover on the floor softly. His eyes stared blankly ahead. 

“Abed?” Annie tried again. 

“OK. You go. But I just need you to help me figure this out,” he said, voice betraying nothing.

A throb began in Annie’s temple but she stayed in place, helping Abed follow the blueprint they had found online. When he had the basic gist of it, she squeezed his arm and turned on her heel. 

“I’ll see you at home later,” she half-called over her shoulder. “Tell Troy I miss him.”

There was no reply but Annie couldn’t wait for one. She dashed back up the stairs, silently hoping Abed would at least get to talk to Troy.

=====

Hours later Annie turned her key in the lock and pushed into the apartment. She was tired, sweaty and more than a little stinky from the crime scene. It had been a decomp scene, Annie had only done one before this and that had been at 4am. Despite wearing their protective suits it felt like the smell lingered. She had spritzed perfume over herself after getting out of the car but the smell was stuck in her nose.

The apartment looked empty. Surely Abed wasn’t still at Greendale? 

“Abed?” She called, dropping her bag onto the kitchen table. She had come home and changed into her workout clothes before heading to the crime scene. Nothing had shifted in the apartment since then. “Abed?” Annie stepped up to the blanket fort and peeked in. 

Abed was sitting on the floor, leaning against the bunk-beds. 

A flare of panic shot through Annie’s chest and burned at the back of her throat. He was vacant. She had seen this before, in the Dreamatorium. It had been freaky then but now it was downright terrifying. Things at the school must have gone really bad for him to be like this. 

“Abed?” Annie ducked into the fort and placed a hand on his shoulder. 

He didn’t move except the rise and fall of his chest. 

Annie knew her fingers were gripping his shoulder tight enough to bruise but the dread was gripping her just as tight. She needed to do something. She needed her Abed back. She couldn’t lose both Troy and Abed.

Annie knelt beside him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling his face against her. 

“Abed, it’s gonna be OK. We’re gonna find a way to see him. He’ll come back. He will.” She rocked them together, no longer sure who she was comforting.

=====

_“You can come out, I know you’re here.” The man’s voice was nasal and nasty._

_As Abed stood he saw that the man was wearing a grey boiler-suit and a sneer. His hair was a scraggled halo around his bald head. Abed couldn’t have written a more villainous villain._

_“There. Now, you can give me the four reticulators you’ve detached and leave. I won’t call security.” The AC villain held out his hand for the curly pipes Abed had continued to remove all afternoon._

_“Where’s Troy?” Abed said. If he had to stop he at least wanted answers._

_“He’s in class. They asked him if he wanted to come and see you. He doesn’t.” The words scratched at the wound in Abed’s chest a little._

_“You’re lying. We’re friends. Best friends. He misses me,” Abed said._

_The man gave a bark of a laugh and tossed his head. Abed’s wound was beginning to seep blood. It was leaving a vile taste in his mouth._

_“He said it himself. We asked if he wanted to come down here and fix this. To talk to you about everything. He said ‘that guy is both freaky and weird. I’m glad I’ve come to AC school just so I don’t have to pretend to be his friend.’”_

_The vile taste was rising through Abed. The bleeding was filling his insides. His chest hurt. His head hurt._

_“You can come out, I know you’re here.” The man’s voice was nasal and nasty._

_As Abed stood he saw that the man was wearing a grey boiler-suit and a sneer. His hair was a scraggled halo around his bald head. Abed couldn’t have written a more villainous villain._

_Except he smelt sweet, like flowers of some sort._

_Like jasmine. Jasmine and ylang ylang. With a little citrus._

_He smelt like Annie._

Abed didn’t taste blood anymore. 

He was rocking side-to-side with Annie mumbling words into his hair. 

“It’ll be all OK. We can try again,” Annie said. “We’ll set a small fire in the east wing, we can smoke them out. As they evacuate we grab Troy—”

“Troy doesn’t want to come home,” Abed said, voice dead. 

“Oh, Abed! Thank God.” Annie squeezed him tighter, her warmth crowding him completely. She pressed a kiss to his hair and gave a loud sniffle. 

If he could feel anything, he would have smiled. His wound ran too deep, he was dead on arrival. 

“Troy doesn’t want to come home.” It was like a hot knife in his chest. This would be precisely the feeling of being stabbed with a lightsaber. 

“Wait…” Annie gave another large sniff and rocked back onto her heels. Her hand stayed where it was, gripping Abed’s shoulder tight. “What do you mean?”

“They told me. They said that Troy said that he doesn’t want to come home. He doesn’t want to be my friend anymore. He was happy he didn’t have to pretend.” Abed took a slow breath. “I should have seen this coming. It always does.”

“Abed, what did I tell you about being maudlin.” The joke was lost to the wetness in Annie’s voice.

He finally looked at her to find her eyes red and puffy. 

“You’re crying,” Abed said.

“It happens when I find my best friend catatonic on the floor.” Annie swiped at her tears and shook her head a little. 

Abed reached up and rubbed away one she had missed on her jaw. It was wetter than he had expected it would be. It coated his finger a little. He stared at her tear on his finger, chest wound throbbing slower now. 

“Abed?” Annie’s voice was loud. 

“Huh?”

“You spaced out again.” She gave a small sigh and turned to lean against the bed beside him. Her head nestled onto his shoulder, warm and sweet-scented. The scent that had brought him out of his episode. 

“Sorry,” Abed said.

“I was saying that you can’t believe that Troy doesn’t want to come home.” Annie scooped his hand up and began flicking his fingers against her palm. “He didn’t even want to go. That guy was lying.” 

Abed repressed a gasp of pain. His heart was torn, hearing Troy’s name hurt. 

“How do you know, Annie?” Abed tipped his head back against the mattress and stared at the top bunk. “He’s gone.”

“I know because he’s Troy. And you’re Abed. You’re always together. Even when you had that stupid fight. You still wanted to be friends.” She gave his fingers a quick squeeze before resuming the flicking. 

“Why are you anxious?” Abed asked, unable to argue back against her words without feeling like her was trying to pull his own ribs open. 

Silence stretched between them. Annie stopped flicking his fingers and took up tracing the nailbeds one by one. The sensation was calming, his pain receding to a throb once more. 

“Annie?” He searched her for an answer but, as usual, couldn’t decipher much. 

She gave him half a smile from the corner of her mouth and sighed. 

“I’m worried about you. And Troy,” Annie said. 

Abed blinked. Her flicking resumed. 

“Abed, I never had friends either.” Annie stared down at their joined hands. “I… Friends are precious to me.”

=====

Annie swallowed down the lump in her throat. She really didn’t want to talk about it, but maybe if Abed understood a little more he would worry less about losing her.

“I was unpopular in high school. It was torture to go there everyday and face everyone,” Annie said, her voice quiet despite the fact that they were alone. “The addiction… I’ve never really talked about this, not even that much in recovery. The pills started as a way to keep achieving, but it didn’t take long for me to be addicted to the serene feeling of just not caring anymore. When I went through rehab, I remembered all my anxieties.”

She wiggled the tips of Abed’s fingers side to side as she spoke. His fingers were long and slender, kind of beautiful. 

He waited for her to keep talking.

“Anyway, you know some of it. I love my friends because I never had any, blah, blah, blah.” Annie couldn’t stop the words, she didn’t mean to edit herself like that but it just happened. Every time she got too close to talking about her misery, she merely skipped over it.

“I was addicted to TV,” Abed said, voice his normal monotone. “I mean, I still am but it’s different now.”

Annie glanced up to find him looking down at her. Her heart skipped for a moment. 

“TV was my addiction. It got me through school, kids were horrible to me.” 

“Yeah.” Annie sighed and set her head back onto Abed’s shoulder. “What I was trying to say is that I’m always gonna be here. You’re my best friend, Abed. I know I’m not Troy, and I know it’s not the same. But I’m always gonna be here.”

“When I said that the other day, you were sad.” Abed said, voice as easy as ever. 

A grimace broke onto her face before she could stop it. Annie gave a quiet sigh and sat up straight from the bed. She could feel Abed watching her. 

“Pick one, Abed, are you good at reading people or bad?” She chastised him, trying to play it off with humour she didn’t have.

“I can read you sometimes.”

“Too often.” Annie gave him a smile to show she was kidding. 

His lips quirked back, just slightly. Some of the searing panic in the back of her neck let go a little.

“I was having a bad day. I was thinking about all the times people have said we’ll stay friends and then it just doesn’t happen,” Annie said. She tugged on Abed’s pointer finger a little. “I’m not good at talking about this stuff. But you and I have pretty similar stories. I’m just… afraid of being abandoned.”

Annie peered through the chink in the blankets and out into the rest of the apartment. 

“I’m afraid that if Troy is gone then no one will ever understand me like he did,” Abed said, his voice was plain but there was something in the timbre that was flooded with sadness. “I always liked just doing my own thing, and I just do whatever I want anyway. But with Troy, he made things more fun. He made me feel almost normal.”

Happiness and sadness mixed in Annie’s chest, swirling and roiling over one another. 

“That’s how you guys make me feel too.” She turned to look at Abed again.

He was staring at the opposite wall, face blank. Annie turned and leaned into him properly, resting her head onto his shoulder again and clinging to his arm with both her hands. 

“You make me feel normal. Not like someone that is a control-freak or two neuroses from a breakdown. You make me feel like a regular 20 year old.” Annie sighed, letting her muscles relax at last and just go loose. 

“Is it because I’m so beyond weird I make you normal?” He asked. 

Annie frowned and glanced up to find Abed’s face an inch from hers, a small smile on his lips and in his umber eyes. A laugh spluttered out of her before her mind went completely blank. 

=====

“Annie?” Abed said, giving her hand a squeeze. 

She was staring up at him, jaw-slack and eyes wide. Conflict itched Abed. He was still upset from the events of the day, but he also felt the strongest urge to kiss Annie. Stronger than that day in the Dreamatorium. His body was a tangle of discomfort. 

She was so beautiful. She was kind and sweet and caring. Most of all, Annie _got_ him. Just like Troy had. Even more in some ways.

Troy had been popular in highschool. He had been one of the kids that would have picked on Abed. Annie had been an outsider. She knew what it felt like to be stuck in that metaphorical locker. 

Did that make this OK? Didn’t that mean they were too similar? Opposites needed to attract, TV said so. No, he needed to stop this. They had bigger things to worry about, like getting Troy back.

“Annie?” Abed spoke before he could reconsider any other arguments.

“Hm? Yes, sorry.” She snapped her lips shut and bowed her head. “You wanna just watch a movie or something?”

“Sure.” Abed felt the ache in his heart settle into an irritation instead of pain. That had to be a good thing, right?

=====

Abed had graciously chosen George of the Jungle for them to watch. It was a classic for him but also had Brendan Fraser in it for Annie. Yet now he was unable to focus on the slap-stick comedy and quotable moments. He was too busy thinking. Not just about getting Troy back and how ridiculous it now seemed that he had believed that Bond-villain of an AC repair guy. 

Strange, when Annie said that it was all lies it immediately fell into focus for Abed. Of course they were lying. Troy was his best friend. He wouldn’t say anything like that. Troy defended him to everyone, even the rest of the study group. 

It was a dangerous game Abed was beginning to play. Annie was his housemate, a best friend, a study group member, not a potential love interest. She was Jeff’s potential love interest. He was a second-lead at best. 

Not to mention that Annie liked Brendan Fraser types. Troy, Jeff, Vaughn; muscled physiques and strong jaw-lines. Abed was none of those things.

So why couldn’t he just compartmentalise her? She was a leading lady, he was a second-lead. They didn’t end up together. They didn’t know one another by perfume scent alone. They didn’t sit and hold hands on the same armchair watching TV. They didn’t talk old trauma and new fears. 

He was so caught up in his circular thoughts that it wasn’t until Annie dropped his hand and walked away that Abed realised she had been making a fuss a moment before. 

“What’s up?” He asked, eyes following her to the doorframe.

“I have an itchy spot, I just can’t get it,” Annie said, attempting to scratch on the doorframe. “I think the suits at work are giving me heat-rash.”

“You should have just said.” Abed stood and moved to where she was wriggling. 

“Ugh, I just…” Annie looked away a moment before turning to face the TV again. “I have a gross scar there too. Can you just scratch below it?”

He nodded, ignoring the way his heart was hammering at his chest. The old ache of missing Troy was all but gone for a second. The moment his hand was suspended over Annie’s back Abed couldn’t think of anything except her. 

“Why is this one different to the one on your shoulder?” Abed spoke without thinking. His fingers scratched lightly below the ridge of skin. 

“Left. No, right.” Annie wriggled her back under his fingers. “It’s a surgery scar. They thought the one on my shoulder wasn’t as deep which meant they stitched it in the emergency room rather than surgery. I tore the stitches three times in the shoulder.”

Abed continued to scratch as Annie shifted here and there beneath his hand. 

“That monstrosity is what I get for it.” Annie’s voice was distracted.

“Is it just the two?” Abed said. He blinked and shook his head a little. He couldn’t stop himself from asking. “Sorry, we don’t have to talk about this.” His empathy filter kicked back in at last. 

“It’s OK,” Annie said. She stilled, letting Abed’s fingertips rub over the rimpled scar. “You’ve seen them, and I guess that's the worst of it.”

He slid his hand across the entirety of the scar on her back. It reached shoulder blade to shoulder blade. He had seen it quickly the days she wore a singlet, but he didn’t like to stare. 

“The shoulder, the back, there’s one in my hair, and another on my leg,” Annie sounded distracted once more, her eyes closed. “Don’t run through windows.”

“I’ll put it on the list,” Abed mumbled, now running his fingers over the length of the scar slowly. 

Annie gave a slight laugh. 

Reluctantly, Abed lowered his hand once more. He resisted the urge to lean into her back and wrap his arms around her waist. He resisted the urge to place his head on her head and inhale her soothing scent. He resisted the urge to whisper that he still found her undeniably beautiful and complex. 

Instead, he stepped back to his chair and sat down. With a smile he patted the arm and turned back to the movie. 

She slipped onto the arm once more, immediately taking Abed’s hand but not worrying at his fingers at all. Entwining their fingers, Abed pretended to pay attention to the movie again.

=====

The apartment was silent. The street outside was silent. While it was lovely to live in a place that didn’t have nightly erotica readings and loudspeaker announcements, right now Annie could have used a distraction from her thoughts. 

Her thoughts of Abed so close to her. The perfect brown of his eyes and their strangely long lashes. The way his lower lip was fuller than his upper lip. His stubble that was barely making it through above his top lip. 

Those thoughts led to other thoughts. Traitorous thoughts of how noticeable the stubble would be if they were to kiss. Would she be able to feel his lashes on her cheek? 

Then she would begin to think of their kiss and Han and Leia in paintball.

Annie sat up. She could not continue this circle of thinking. She needed a distraction. Abed was a friend. 

A friend she found intensely attractive lately. That was all.

Annie padded out into the lounge and began to sort through the DVDs around the TV. She would find something easy to watch for an hour until she was really tired. 

Abed was just a friend that made her feel safe and loved and OK, there was nothing more to it. He was in crisis at the moment and Annie was merely reeling from the massive disruptions of the last six months. Definitely. If they hadn’t been thrown out of school, if Troy hadn’t left, she wouldn’t feel like this. 

She pushed the Friends DVD in and settled onto the floor in front of Abed’s chair. 

It was all the upheavals, it wasn’t something she had been repressing with the rest of her sexuality for almost a year. It was the trauma of almost losing everything.

Annie’s fingers worried at her shoulder scar. She could look at this from the other direction, for just a moment. What if she did, hypothetically, possibly, maybe like Abed like that? Was that so bad?

Yes. He didn’t respond to dynamic shifts very well, Annie shifting it at him would definitely fall into a place Abed was uncomfortable. Annie would lose a close friend, possibly the rest of the group as they took Abed’s side. No, she couldn’t like Abed.

Her eyes followed the TV characters awhile, glassy and blank as she stared. Ross was yelling about trust being betrayed by Rachael or something. Annie couldn’t stop the nagging thought that popped into her head every other moment. 

Finally she gave up and began to examine that line of thinking as well. 

What if Abed liked her too? What if they both silently liked each other? Would she be OK to have a crush on him if that was the case?

“Annie?” Abed was standing at the archway to the lounge, eyes flickering between her and the TV. 

His voice sent such a flush of fear and delight into her stomach Annie couldn’t even try to lie to herself anymore. 

“Sorry, did I wake you?” Annie said, glad the dark was hiding her sudden blush. 

“Not really.” Abed walked over and folded himself onto the carpet beside her. “Friends marathon?”

“I just couldn’t sleep,” Annie said. 

It took all of her willpower to hold in a squeak as Abed took her hand and laced their fingers together. The delighted fear spiraled through her abdomen and bound up her heart, tight. 

“Season three is an interesting place to start, its the season Ross and Rachael are together and then on the break in,” Abed said, leaning against the armchair easily. “But the next episode is a bottle episode. It’s not too bad, Joey and Chandler have antics to break up all the emotion.” 

“You don’t have to stay up with me.” Annie looked at him, they were shoulder to shoulder. 

“Why wouldn’t I?” Abed smiled at her, his lips just lifting on the sides. He turned back to watch the TV. “I still can’t believe you haven’t seen much Friends. Not even the ‘we were on a break’ episode?”

It was such a normal, Abed thing to say but now it made Annie’s chest tight and stomach flutter. This was such bad news. 

“I told you. I spent a lot of my time doing school work or extra curriculars,” Annie said, trying to keep her voice normal. It was moderately successful.

“That’s OK. It’s fun to watch with you. I get to watch you watch it.” He gave her a glance and smile quickly. 

Annie wanted to melt into the floor and out of existence. He had no business being that sweet without even trying. 

“Are you OK, Annie?” Abed said. His words jolted her, he was facing her properly, examining her in the light of the TV. 

“What do you mean?” She almost winced, it sounded false even to her as she over enunciated everything. 

“You’re squeezing my hand really tight.” Abed stroked his thumb over the back of her hand.

“Oh. Haa.” Annie forced a smile onto her face. She tried to go loose as Britta had once advised. “Yeah, man, no problem. Just so into this episode.” 

Abed’s eyes held hers. She could feel him trying to decipher her. She could feel his mind working to find a solution to the mismatched words and tone. A little piece of her heart fractured at the look. She wanted to tell him. She wanted more than anything to be able to just spit it out, admit her feelings. Something held her tongue; fastened it to the roof of her mouth and tightened it’s grip onto her vocal chords. She couldn’t risk it. Just like with Troy years ago. Annie could use all the logic she wanted, but deep down she knew, she was a coward. She would never tell him. It was better this way. 

Annie gave his hand a soft squeeze and smiled as best she could. Her crush on Troy had faded. This would too. Abed was too precious to jeopardise their relationship. She wanted him close, even if that meant he would never be as close as she craved.

He nodded once and turned back to the TV.

“Cool. Cool, cool, cool.” 

Annie pressed her lips together and smiled through the sadness that all but overwhelmed her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I was gonna write this last week but then I had the worst week and that didn't happen. And then I needed this week to get over it. Everything is fine, just had to host 4 people in my house for a week (don't panic I live in a place where our restrictions have been lifted almost completely and there hasn't been a new case near me in months) I'm just super introverted and they were all extroverts. Sorry for the little wait.  
> I originally had Annie all sexy at the start and then remembered that she's not really comfortable with that... plus this is so much more Greendale.  
> Anywho, this has gone on longer than expected so I might actually need another chapter to wrap it up. Or two. I don't know. Also thanks for the kudos and sweet comments. OK LOVE YOU BYE!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Death mentions and moderately intense description of emotional pain.

Yearning was not Abed’s ideal form of existence. He was not made to yearn. 

From an early age he had realised that his actions often upset people. He had tried, for them. He had morphed, pulled and shifted himself into painful cutouts of other kids for them. He had yearned to be just like the others. It had all been futile in the end. 

From that moment Abed promised himself that he would not live for others. He would live only for himself. He would not yearn for things he couldn’t reach. He would be weird, eccentric, uncomfortable Abed. 

Yet now he couldn’t help but watch Annie as she washed dishes and feel he was comprised of nothing but yearning. 

Yearning mixed with a bitter sadness that his best friend wasn’t even here to help him through it. If Troy were here he would know what to say. He would know what to do. If Troy were here Abed would only be half-miserable, maybe he could have lived with that. 

He could always just tell her. He could walk over to where she was washing a saucepan, slide his arms around her like so many protagonists in rom-coms did. He could lean his cheek to hers, whisper… something. 

What would he even say? That he was in love with her? He was Abed, that didn’t happen. He didn’t get married and have children. He didn’t live a normal life. His prospects for happiness were slim. Profound friendship was his shot at it. 

All he needed to do was learn how to stop this and he would be happy. 

Abed turned his head away. He stood and slipped into the Dreamatorium without a word. 

=====

Annie could feel him leave. She heard his footsteps recede and the door of the Dreamatorium shut softly. Her shoulders slumped and tongue unglued from the roof of her mouth. Her chest was burning, aching as though her heart had been dragged through ice and fire. 

When he watched her like that it felt almost as though he knew.

Annie scoffed, scrubbing at the pristine saucepan in the water. He did not know. And if he did he would feel sorry for her. Silly Annie, always creating some fiction of romance with the men in her life. Silly, childish Annie, chasing after men that don’t want her. She was pathetic. 

=====

“Render environment…” Abed hesitated. 

What environment? What would give him the answers he needed? What would give him the answers he wanted?

“Render environment: study room.”

_Annie stood alone before her place at the desk, fingers tangled and tugging at each other. Her brow was creased, her shoulders slumped._

_“Annie?” Abed said._

_She looked up, brow-crinkle not fading, shoulders not unslumping._

_“Abed, I didn’t see you there,” she said. Her voice was squeakier than usual._

_“What happened? Was that Jeff I saw leaving?” Abed stepped over to her, taking one of her tangled hands. “Annie?” His other hand cupped her cheek._

_Her eyebrows shot up. She stepped back, eyes wide and full of reproach._

_“Abed, what do you think you’re doing?” She was mad now. “How could I ever love you? Jeff just told me he has an incurable disease and he can’t stand the thought of dying and leaving me alone.”_

Abed’s face crumpled with pain. He was such a masochist. That wasn’t how it would go then. He rubbed at his thighs and sighed. 

“Render environment: blanket fort.” 

_“Hey man,” Troy said, leaping up to perch on the edge of the bunkbed with Abed. “What’s up?”_

_“Hey,” Abed smiled at Troy and sighed again. “Everything is kind of messed up. You’re gone, Annie is sad a lot, and I think I’m in love with her.”_

_“Woh, that is kinda messed up. Where am I?” Troy blinked a few times, slapping his chest and legs to make sure they were still there._

_“You went to AC repair school to save us after Chang caught us saving the Dean,” Abed said._

_“Wow. I sacrificed myself to save everyone?” Troy’s face lit up. “I am kinda awesome.”_

_“Yeah. I know.” Abed’s lips twisted a moment. “I need your help with this Annie thing. What do I do?”_

_“Annie? What about her?”_

_“I think I’m in love with her.” Abed slouched onto his knees. “I know I am. I don’t know what to do.”_

_Troy watched him for a long moment, face concentrating on the problem._

_“Well, tell her,” Troy gave a shrug._

_“Tell her?” Abed frowned. “Wont that ruin everything?”_

_“Didn’t you just say everything is all messed up? How much more messed up could it be?” Troy gave another shrug. “Wait, unless aliens invade. Then we’ll have to be Will Smith in Independence Day. Schwarzenegger in Predator. Or Ripley!”_

Troy blipped out of existence as Abed shook his head again. 

Tell her? That was the best Simulation-Troy could come up with? Abed could have done that. He also had a million reasons not to. 

Sure he hadn’t argued any of them and instead took the easy bait of listing alien invasion movies, but he definitely had excuses. A lot of them. 

Number one at the top of the list being… “Render environment: apartment 303.”

_Annie was standing in the middle of the kitchen, simply staring up at him. Abed had his arms around her, their bodies pressed close._

_“I love you,” he said, voice quaking a little._

_“I don’t love you. I tolerate you because I fear abandonment. I use you to make myself feel safe and OK. But thank you, Abed, that’s very sweet.”_

He almost gave a growl of frustration. See, Simulation-Troy, this is what telling her resulted in!

There was a quiet knock and Abed turned to face the door.

=====

“Abed?” Annie poked her head into the Dreamatorium. “Sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to let you know that I have a call-out for a job. I’ll be home later.”

He gave a terse nod, standing stock still in the centre of the room. 

She wanted to ask what he had been simulating. She wanted to step in and join him in whatever the game was. 

Annie nodded back and closed the door just as quietly as she had opened it. 

Rubbing at her aching heart she picked up her bag and keys and left. 

=====

Annie pulled in behind the coroners van and climbed out of the car. She gave the coroner employee an awkward wave and moved over to the cleaning van. Penny, a middle-aged Mexican woman, was pulling on her protective suit. 

“Annie, how are you?” Penny asked, leaving her hood down on the suit. “This heat just not letting up this year.”

“Hey, Penny.” Annie grabbed a disposable suit for herself and began to climb into it. “Can’t wait for Fall.”

“What’s wrong?” Penny bent to catch her eye. “You look sad, honey.”

“Oh, it’s nothing.” Annie waved her away and tried to bounce upright. “What are we doing today?”

Penny’s dark eyes watched her, searching her swiftly.

Annie’s throat gripped, her tongue fixed itself in place and she gave an awkward smile. 

“Alright, but you know you can talk if you want to. Today is gonna be a hard one.” Penny gripped her shoulder and her eyes grew deep and solemn. “Let’s get that bucket filled with water and we’ll start. Marta is running a little late so you can do her half until she gets here.” Penny pulled her hood on and gestured to the house. 

Annie nodded. She could do this. This was her work. She plastered a ‘come back later’ sign on her heart and followed Penny to the porch of the stately suburban home. 

=====

Abed was sitting in his usual place in front of the TV when she got home. Annie gave him a wave and headed straight for the shower. When she returned she plonked herself into Troy’s chair and stared at the TV with a blank expression. He caught the redness around her eyes, the slight sniff she gave. Despite the oppressive heat lingering in the evening a chill ran over him; icing at his insides with fear. 

“Hey,” Abed paused it and turned to face her. “What’s wrong?”

Annie sighed, leaning her elbow onto the arm of the couch and pressing her face onto the palm. 

“Bad day at work.” She closed her eyes and sighed again. “Hard day at work.”

“You want to talk about it?” He reached out, cursing his traitor heart. This was going to hurt so much more later but he couldn’t stand to see her like this. His fingers slipped into hers so naturally. 

The tears tracked over her cheeks and nose, spotting onto the arm of the couch. Abed’s heart quickened. He needed to fix it.

“Sometimes…” Annie cleared her throat and sat up again. She curled her legs up to her chest, keeping hold of Abed’s fingers. “Sometimes cleaning up… it’s harder with some than others.”

Abed nodded, his eyes locked to hers. He didn’t say anything. What could he say that would make any difference? He couldn’t know what made her do that job. He knew she loved it. He knew she was amazing at anything she set her mind to. So he held her hand and let her feel whatever it had brought on today. She was strong, compassionate and kind. She was Annie. 

Annie sniffed and wiped her face on her knees. 

“I’m OK.” She smiled through the tears. “What are you watching?”

“Black Books. English comedy.” Abed smiled. It was absurd how much he needed to see that smile. It was downright ridiculous that it sent a shining beam of happiness through his whole soul.

“Let’s watch. I could use a comedy,” Annie said. She took his hands in both of hers and held tight. 

Abed stole a last look, wanting to photograph her into his memory like that. He clicked the DVD to play again, turning away at the last moment to stare at the TV once more. 

=====

The heat was rising again and Annie was once more in a singlet. He stared at her back. The scar struck her straight across. 

He thought of what that must mean. How close to her heart had the glass come? She had been sliced open and sewn back together. Did it hurt as much as this? Did it make her feel as though everything was one, stinging pain?

The yearning was so much stronger. How could his chest ache so much all the time? His heart was going to fight it’s way from his chest. Abed was now convinced that he might actually be developing a heart condition. If he didn’t have a deep mistrust of doctors he might have even consulted one. 

Was there a way he could stitch himself back together?

Did his scar show, bright and pink, on his own chest?

He rubbed at his sternum, fearing the pain might actually cause a reaction on the skin. 

Annie had been solemn for a week now. The last cleaning job leaving her sad for a day and then a strange melancholy overtaking her.

Abed tried whatever he could think of to cheer her up but the more he did the further she pulled away from him. Now they were left like this. A lingering silence he didn’t understand and a pain so severe he was beginning to go crazy…er. 

He had told Simulation-Troy that this was a bad idea. He had known it was a bad idea. Abed wasn’t made to be loved. He wasn’t made to love others. 

The jingle of Annie’s phone crashed over his thoughts and he snapped his eyes back to the laptop on the table. 

“I have a call,” Annie said, her voice easy. “I better get dressed and go. I’ll grab some take-out if I finish early enough.”

She hesitated a moment in the door of her bedroom. 

“Cool. Cool, cool, cool.” He gave her as much of a smile as he could and she disappeared. 

===== 

Annie clutched the door frame of the bedroom. Her eyes were fixed to the floor. Her heart fluttered and began a nosedive into the ground the longer she looked. 

Ballet flats. A pretty coral pink, with a fake flower on them. She couldn’t look away. 

“Annie?” Penny was right behind her. “Are you OK?”

It was too much. First the boy last week and now this? Annie began to shake, her chest heaving and a strange noise emerging from her that she hadn’t heard in years. 

“Oh, honey, come on. Let’s get some fresh air.” Penny’s strong grip towed her backward.

Annie’s feet tangled, she tripped, almost following the path of her sinking heart to the floor. Penny’s sure hands held her up, keeping her walking out into the sunshine of the backyard. 

“Here, honey, have a sit.” 

Annie crumpled, her knees letting go of whatever resolve they had until she thumped onto the back step. 

“Deep breathing. Slowly, in and out.” Penny was stroking her back slowly, fingers bumping over the scar. 

Her breath was shuddery and slow, the strange squeaking noise fading and a fresh flood of tears taking their place. 

“Alright, it’s OK. What happened?” Penny gave her hand a squeeze and waited. 

“The shoes.” Annie hiccoughed and cleared her throat of grief and tried again. “I own those shoes. The whole room looks just like mine.”

The soft sounds of a breeze through the tree in the backyard washed between them. Annie covered her face with her hands and swiped her tears roughly. This was her job. She was so unprofessional.

“You know, the hardest scene I ever did was a woman that died in her kitchen while she was baking bread.” Penny’s voice was soft and sincere. “She left behind three kids, two teenagers and a little one.” She caught Annie’s gaze. “That was the year my oldest started high school. I was suddenly staring at what could have been my tomorrow.”

Annie’s mouth was dry. She could feel her throat constrict and burn around the implications. 

“I cried the hardest that night. I hugged my kids and didn’t let them go until they started to complain that I was scaring them. I checked on them four times through the night.” Penny smiled, her eyes growing damp. “The thing this job taught me more than anything else is that we never know what’s coming for us, Annie. We have to live everyday like we don’t know what our tomorrow will be,” Penny said. “Get it?”

Everything was a mess. Annie felt Penny’s words sink through each layer of mess she had wrapped herself in. When they settled onto the bottom a spark flamed and began to ember. A growing flame of heat licked at her ribs and stomach. 

“I get it.” Annie nodded and wiped her face again. “Sorry, Penny, I’m ready now.”

Penny gave her a bright smile, gripped her arm tight and stood. 

=====

By the time Annie made it home the fire in her stomach and chest was a roaring inferno. She was burning from the inside out. It was flushing her all the way to the crown. Her palms were sweating, fingers slick on the keys as she unlocked the apartment. She fell through the door and slung her bag onto the floor. 

Abed skidded into the entryway from the loungeroom. His eyes were wide and eyebrows high. 

“Abed!” She cried, the fire raging higher now she could see him. He was so close, he could surely feel the heat radiating off her skin. 

“What happened?” He stepped toward her. 

“I…” She mirrored him, moving closer to him as he did. 

“Annie?” 

His eyes were wild. She could see him searching her, trying to decode her strangeness. 

‘Get it?’ Penny’s voice whispered as she hesitated. 

Her fingers quivered, hand shaking with nerves. All at once the fire was extinguished as a vacuum yawned inside her. Annie lifted her hand and placed it over his chest. He was warm, the summer leaving his shirt slightly damp still. She took another step closer. 

“Abed?” Annie looked up at him. She could feel thunder rolling through her chest. “I need to tell you something.”

His hand covered hers, gripping it tight. 

“I…” Her mouth dried. She scraped her tongue along the roof of her mouth. “I don’t know where I’m going to be tomorrow.”

There was a glint of confusion and something else in his eyes. 

She tossed the rest of her stupid caution to the wind and leaned up and pressed her mouth to his. 

=====

The sound of the door crashing open and something heavy hitting the lino was enough to send Abed out of his chair with fright. He rushed to the entryway, leaving his movie running in the background. 

Annie was standing in the middle of the room, bag discarded on the floor a few feet away. She looked peculiar. Her doe eyes wide and strange as they stared at him. His heart began to rattle, fear setting into his bones as she stared at him. 

“Abed!” Her voice was strange as well.

Nothing was making sense. A swirling sensation began in his stomach. 

“What happened?” He moved toward her, needing her to say something that would stop his spiralling.

“I…” Annie stepped closer to him as well. 

“Annie?” He could almost beg her now to just tell him what had happened. He examined her face, nothing making sense and everything seeming to become more and more muddled to him.

The swirling spiral of panic was taking hold, scattering pieces of him and leaving him hollowed out inside. His heart hammered and quivered all at once. His breath becoming short and viscous. 

Everything vanished as she placed a warm palm against his chest. His heart redoubled its pace but steady and strong now. The scattered pieces seemed to reform instantly and concentrate beneath her touch. 

“Abed? I need to tell you something.” Annie said. She was looking up at him, her eyes locked into his. 

He gripped the hand on his chest. He needed something familiar and comforting because despite hoping and wanting harder than he ever had before, he was terrified. 

“I…” She seemed to swallow and try again. “I don’t know where I’m going to be tomorrow.” 

The words were not what he had expected. Before he could try and pick apart the meaning Annie was moving closer again, leaning up to him and pressing their lips together. 

It was firm and insistent but short. As she lowered from her tiptoes Abed blinked, mind reeling blank white noise for a solid second before he swallowed hard. 

He laced their fingers together on his chest. With his free hand he reached up to cup the back of her head. Annie leaned toward him once more and their mouths reconnected. 

This was not like Han and Leia in paintball. There was no furious passion, no fear of make-believe-death, no alter-ego to pretend to be. This was so much better. 

It was soft, warm and just slightly desperate. Abed dropped Annie’s hand in favour of pulling her closer. She had thrown an arm over his neck before he had realised it and now they were pressed tight together.

He cupped her cheek, holding her face close to his as their lips parted to breathe hard. 

“Annie, what’s going on?” Abed had to ask. He couldn’t fight the rising fear that this was a dream, a joke, a particularly realistic simulation. 

“Abed, I think… I kind of… might be… in love with you.” Her voice was squeaky and odd once more. 

“You’re in love with me?” Abed asked. His brain streamed memories but he couldn’t decipher anything at all. He dropped the hand from her face to her shoulder, fingers worrying at the strange skin beneath her blouse. 

“Yeah.” Annie dropped back onto flat feet and gave a small sigh. “Kinda.”

“You’re kinda in love with me?” His body was tingling all over, the hair on the back of his neck tickling and prickling. 

“Oh, God, you don’t feel like that.” Annie started to pull away. “Well, lets just forget this ever happened, OK?”

Abed held on tight, his arms locking her close to him automatically. 

“I never said that,” he said. “I love you too.”

He smiled, all sensation of strangeness finally leaving him. He settled back into a content calm. His fingers rubbed over Annie’s shoulder scar once more. His other hand in the small of her back keeping her close. 

“Really?” She gave him the classic Disney face he loved. 

=====

Annie pressed her face into Abed’s chest and breathed him in. She was still flushed with adrenaline but now all her worries and fears seemed so stupid. 

Abed was holding onto her so tight she was convinced he was never going to let her go. His fingers were exploring the rumpled mess of her shoulder but Annie couldn’t find it within herself to care. If anything it was soothing, it helped cement her in reality. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Annie asked, not moving her cheek from his chest. 

“You’re Annie. You’re supposed to end up with a main character, not with me.” His voice rumbled through his chest, vibrating into her ear. 

“You’re a main character, Abed,” Annie said, reluctantly pulling back to look up at him again. 

“I don’t possess any of the stereotypical qualities of a main character. I’m more the side-character the main character bounces problems off.” He was staring down at her. She could see his long lashes once more, his stubble breaking through, the smooth perfection of his skin. 

Annie couldn’t resist kissing him again. Before her brain even really caught up she was on tiptoes once more, fitting their mouths together. It was natural, easy.

He gave a small chuckle, passing it between their lips. Annie smiled back and lowered herself down from tiptoe slower this time. 

“You’re a main character to me,” she said, raising an eyebrow with a conspiratorial smile. 

“You’ve always been a leading lady in my eyes.” 

They both held their expressions for another moment before collapsing into giggles. 

“So dumb.” Abed sighed and shook his head. “I don’t think I’ll ever get the hang of writing dialogue.” 

“I love you,” Annie didn’t care about anything else. 

“I love you too.” Abed pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her in a hug. 

=====

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, hi, yes I made it back to finish this story after a month. Sorry about the break there, wasn't my intention but life y'know, tis a bitch sometimes. 
> 
> Anywho! I like how this ended. I wanted to examine more of Abed and Annie's scars together and I feel I missed a little bit of that but I'm still happy because I haven't written anything seriously in about a year.
> 
> Thanks for all the kudos and comments, I love you all so much <3 Be safe and bless xxx

**Author's Note:**

> Uh, that might be a Dr Who episode but I really don't remember. Hope you liked it! I have a Ch2 planned but we'll see if I can get to it within the next week. xox


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